DEGENERATION OF THE MIND

Ask any teenager what they think of when the thought of University creeps into their mind. Chances are they are thinking of the endless freedom that comes with the new territory of being “all grown up” and leaving home. After 18 long years they believe that they are more than ready to tackle the “big, bad, world” and yearn for the opportunity to be independent, be free of their parents and able to start a life for themselves. This was me at the beginning of year. I was thrilled at the thought of life 16 hours away from home. This was my chance. No longer would I have my parents breathing down my neck 24/7, instead it was all up to me. It was finally my life!

In my mind I was like Repunzel in a modern-day fairytale. I would be waiting for my prince charming to come find me in my third story res room and live happily ever after. Unfortunately the potential princes ended up being drunken jesters who believed that their drunkard serenading at 3am would win my heart- sadly they were very mistaken.

I soon realised that my peers viewed independence and University life as the excuse to get drunk and pass out in gutters, get stoned and waste their potential, have casual sex with random strangers, engage in fist fights and pub brawls and to sleep all day and miss every lecture and tutorial on their timetables original agenda. Although I had also pondered the thought of taking advantage of these rebellious activities, when faced with the opportunity of doing so I realised that my self-worth was more important and that moderation was the way to go.

Why is it then that so many young people are tempted to waste their future on one night of irresponsible partying? Don’t get me wrong though- I am a social person who loves a good night out with my friends and I agree that this is the time in one’s life to let loose and have fun. But I am talking about limits and whether or not people in today’s society realise that certain things go way beyond fun, and verge into very unsafe and dangerous territory.

It is a known fact that Rhodes University has one of the highest alcohol consumption rates in Southern Africa. Students claim that this is because of the lack of entertainment options and since the town is so small they feel it is one of the only activities that they can enjoy. Originally I had thought that peer pressure was a thing limited to high school students but sadly this is not the case. People here are labelled as “losers” if they do not meet the required prototype of a partying, weed- smoking, and sex obsessed “typical student”.

There is fear of falling off the social ladder if one does not meet the allocated party times and days- which is on average 4 times per week. It is a bonus if these people can pass their courses whilst upholding the Rhodes partying tradition, but I often wonder if a degree is really that important to them. Their parents had originally sent them here with the assumption that they would return as fine, mature young men or women with the potential to tackle anything they set their minds to, but sadly quite a few have already returned home with nothing to say for their time spent here except for a deregistration slip, and some “famous party photo’s”.

Many first year students come here with the belief that their aspirations, ambitions, goals and dreams will finally be attainable and that their newly found independence will set them free. Within the first month these same students will lose sight of this and become distracted by the many temptations that student life has to offer them. This is why it is important to know yourself well enough so as to ensure that you do not lose the person that you used to be. Stand strong. Dare to be different. And be prepared to tackle your future!

End it, or go the distance?

Long Distance relationships go with university like toothpaste goes with orange juice! When you go to university in another town you should break up with your boy/ girl friend because you will cheat on them. You’re young, and serious relationships should be left for the future when you’re old and using wrinkle cream. You are going to meet so many new people at university and you won’t be able to resist the urge to be with someone else. You will inevitably break up. So just do it before you go, it will make your life much easier.

What a load of rubbish! When people think of long distance relationships, they see a long dark tunnel with no light at the end. They hold to the stereotype that "long distance relationships don’t work", which is perpetuated by students who want to use university as an excuse to get with as many people as possible. People think that long distance relationships always end in a box of Kleenex and a broken heart. This is not true.

I have firsthand experience of being in a long distance relationship. After a full year of being at Rhodes, my boyfriend and I are still going strong. I think that the people who created this myth have never been in love. They do not know what a real relationship is, and therefore don’t trust in their relationship over a distance.

By saying that relationships wouldn’t last over a distance, the person is basically saying that all relationships are solely built around physical aspects. They are saying that without seeing a person physically, the feelings of love and loyalty in that relationship will dissolve and therefore the relationship will dissolve. This is totally ridiculous. A relationship is not just being physical; it also involves emotions, sharing thoughts, getting to know the character and personality of your partner and much more. Physically seeing your partner is just one part of your relationship. I’m not saying it’s easy to not see your partner, not at all. But it is definitely possible to remain together and faithful over the distance.

Within all relationships both partners are required to make an effort. With a long distance relationship the effort is just a bit more. It is about making a conscious attempt everyday to make your relationship work. Stay up at night talking to your boy/girlfriend on mxit, IM them on googletalk, phone them if you have free minutes. Email them cute emails or sms them in boring lectures, just to let them know that you're still thinking of them. If you do this, then the stereotype falls away.

Another thing that is implied by saying that long distance doesn’t work when coming to university is that you, the university student, will not have the will power to say no to cheating. This is as equally ridiculous as saying that every Rhodes student will become an alcoholic by age 20. Every person faced with an opportunity to cheat will make a conscious decision to do it or not to do it. That is your own choice. And if you want your long distance relationship to work, I suggest you say “no way, Jose!” It’s really not as hard as you think.

The important thing to remember in your long distance relationship is that while you might be experiencing this whole new world at university, your partner is off doing their own thing. Keep them up to date on what's going on in your life, and you won’t be separated figuratively as well as literally. You need to keep in contact, so that you don’t become strangers to each other.

But if you're just in your relationship for the physical experience, then cupcake, it's not going to last. Don't try long distance. But don't go giving the rest of us a bad name.

RHODESURANCE.

Ever wondered why everyone fusses so much about varsity?? Well, I think I have the answers. Brace yourselves. This is the moment.
1. University is usually vey far from home.
2. University means a lot of work (and by work I mean academic and “non-academic work. “
3. Meeting new people in their thousands.
4. it’s the first time you ever get to do something without parental permission.
But fear not for I bring you good news:
1. The distance could be an advantage because you are guaranteed nobody at home will ever know if u did something… not that you would.
2. You can conquer the work if you release the pressure once in awhile and just make sure you make friends with a lot of tutors so you get extra FREE assistance.(don’t mind the caps ,you are not supposed to notice.)
3. Meeting new people can be an advantage, you get to know a lot of different culture, you have people to sit with in lectures but most of all you get to say hello to them in public which just goes to show how diverse you are when it comes to making friends. TRUE DAT.
4. Just because your parents are not there to tell you what to do does not mean that you cannot make good decisions for yourself. Once in awhile you will make a mistake but you are bound to learn from it…So quit the part where you take a gap year to figure out varsity life…I got you covered. And if you are coming to Rhodes, I cannot wait to see you.
NB: I am not a tutor…

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Mr Casanova; don't hate the player, hate the game!

“If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I’d put u and I together” “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Do either of these pick up lines sound familiar? I’m sure for most of you girls out there they do, as I have yet to meet a guy who does not have at least one cheesy line credited to his name. Let’s just face it, guys and girls do not always think on the same wave length.

The other night I was in my room with one of my girl friends listening to sad love songs. She was crying over yet another guy that had broken her heart and I myself was miserable after not hearing from my boyfriend for two solid days. Why is it that guys seem to hold so much power over us girls? Do they know that they hold our fragile hearts in their hands? I suddenly got to thinking of all the things that guys do in an attempt to win girls over, but once they have the trophy, will they continue parading it around? Or will they set off to win the next challenge.

It is a known fact that men enjoy the chase. If a girl gives it up too fast or too soon the man will probably lose interest. But why should we conform to playing childish games? It’s like primary school all over again when we used to play kissing catches; only now it’s more complicated with a whole new set of rules. Don’t let him catch you, but don’t run too fast ahead. Surely this philosophy confuses things even further? You want him to catch you and he says he wants you to stop running away from him, so why is there so much athleticism going on?!.

Whether we like to acknowledge it or not, we all play games on some level. Whilst guys claim that girls confuse them with their mixed signals, girls seem to feel the same way about guys. Could it be that we all have our guards up in an attempt to prevent getting hurt? On a subconscious level we play these games because we don’t want to land up heartbroken, but more often than not, they do not help our situation.

Love is a universal language. It is something that catches you by surprise and takes you on a ride that you will never forget. Many guys however see Love as “too complicated” and prefer the idea of one night stands and less serious relationships as they have “no strings attached”. I and many girls alike have been seduced by seemingly charming and charismatic young men. He claims that he is “not like other guys” and you believe him. Fast forward a couple of months and that prince charming is now referred to as “that idiot” and is no longer sending you sweet sms’s promising you the world. The girl is left bitter and more convinced than ever that single is the way to go.

That famous saying “don’t get mad, get even” will come into play and the girl will be desperate to seek revenge with “that idiot” and possibly get together with his best friend or his brother in an attempt to do so (like one of my friends did). Let me just advise you that this is not a good idea. It will just leave you even more broken hearted as the “bro’s before ho’s” fraternity is never kind.

Relationships are hard but they are also inevitable. Having your heart broken is devastating but it is a part of growing up. Falling in love is the best feeling in the world but only if the feelings are mutual. Guys and girls often misinterpret one another but they need each other if they want to experience life. Life means experiencing, loving, feeling and taking chances. So the next time a guy tries his luck to sweet talk you, don’t turn him down on the merit of your past bad experiences because although you claim you can’t live with guys any longer, you definitely can’t live without them!