End it, or go the distance?

Long Distance relationships go with university like toothpaste goes with orange juice! When you go to university in another town you should break up with your boy/ girl friend because you will cheat on them. You’re young, and serious relationships should be left for the future when you’re old and using wrinkle cream. You are going to meet so many new people at university and you won’t be able to resist the urge to be with someone else. You will inevitably break up. So just do it before you go, it will make your life much easier.

What a load of rubbish! When people think of long distance relationships, they see a long dark tunnel with no light at the end. They hold to the stereotype that "long distance relationships don’t work", which is perpetuated by students who want to use university as an excuse to get with as many people as possible. People think that long distance relationships always end in a box of Kleenex and a broken heart. This is not true.

I have firsthand experience of being in a long distance relationship. After a full year of being at Rhodes, my boyfriend and I are still going strong. I think that the people who created this myth have never been in love. They do not know what a real relationship is, and therefore don’t trust in their relationship over a distance.

By saying that relationships wouldn’t last over a distance, the person is basically saying that all relationships are solely built around physical aspects. They are saying that without seeing a person physically, the feelings of love and loyalty in that relationship will dissolve and therefore the relationship will dissolve. This is totally ridiculous. A relationship is not just being physical; it also involves emotions, sharing thoughts, getting to know the character and personality of your partner and much more. Physically seeing your partner is just one part of your relationship. I’m not saying it’s easy to not see your partner, not at all. But it is definitely possible to remain together and faithful over the distance.

Within all relationships both partners are required to make an effort. With a long distance relationship the effort is just a bit more. It is about making a conscious attempt everyday to make your relationship work. Stay up at night talking to your boy/girlfriend on mxit, IM them on googletalk, phone them if you have free minutes. Email them cute emails or sms them in boring lectures, just to let them know that you're still thinking of them. If you do this, then the stereotype falls away.

Another thing that is implied by saying that long distance doesn’t work when coming to university is that you, the university student, will not have the will power to say no to cheating. This is as equally ridiculous as saying that every Rhodes student will become an alcoholic by age 20. Every person faced with an opportunity to cheat will make a conscious decision to do it or not to do it. That is your own choice. And if you want your long distance relationship to work, I suggest you say “no way, Jose!” It’s really not as hard as you think.

The important thing to remember in your long distance relationship is that while you might be experiencing this whole new world at university, your partner is off doing their own thing. Keep them up to date on what's going on in your life, and you won’t be separated figuratively as well as literally. You need to keep in contact, so that you don’t become strangers to each other.

But if you're just in your relationship for the physical experience, then cupcake, it's not going to last. Don't try long distance. But don't go giving the rest of us a bad name.